My Hypothetical Criminal Record
I may be leaving some stuff out, but here it is. My hypothetical juvenile criminal record:
Theft
Assault - domestic violence
Harassment - domestic violence
Driving without a license
Reckless driving
Criminal trespass
Now, I was pretty much a square, goody-goody as a kid, and never drank or smoked pot, so I managed to avoid those convictions. But between fights with my older brother, shoplifting, and driving like a goddamned maniac, I could have racked up plenty of charges. And you know, it's not just having a criminal record that hurts kids; it's any contact with the juvenile system. There are some kids, sure, who may need to be on probation, with the threat of detention time to get them the help they need. But many kids don't. And bringing them into the criminal justice system does them harm. I want to post more on this--the harm done just by being in the system--in future posts. But for now, I'm just thankful that it never happened to me.
Don't be shy now--feel free to leave a comment with your hypothetical criminal record.
Labels: juvenile




11 Comments:
Definitely assault. I got into a few fights with other kids my age (who were my friends) around where I lived.
I bet a lot of people violated 18 USC 2279 (Sailormongering)
Oh, lots of drugs. LSD, pot, some more exotic. I've never hit anyone, but I have been hit. I've also talked people out of dangerous use situations (huffiing, for instance).
All i will say is thank heaven for statues of limitations. Um, what is the statute of limitations on sailormongering?
jeez..I meant "statutes of limitations", although the way I had it originally gives one pause to think...
Why limit it to a hypothetical juvenile record? The hypothetical adult records could be just as interesting-hypothetically of course!
No reason to limit it to your juvenile record! That's just as far as I wanted to go.
Sailormongering is something I don't think I've ever engaged in, but since I technically don't know what it is, maybe I did, and just don't know it!
The thing that really gets me are this kids who get tagged with domestic violence assault charges for fights with their siblings. Are there really people out there who never got into a physical altercation with a sibling? Should you be tagged as a perpetrator of domestic violence (which makes you sound like a wife-beater) for that? I don't think so.
Let't not forget the most common crime-- and the bane of my existence-- disorderly conduct.
In addition to the crimes listed above, my list would included statutory rape and several other related sexual offenses. (CA's laws are pretty backwards in this area.)
i really want to reuse this..
my preliminary list includes---
abetting drug trafficking
abetting graffitti
underage consumption of alcohol
criminal trespassing
truancy
curfew violations
drug possession
under the influence of drugs
theft/ shoplifting
assault- domestic violence
harrassment - domestic violence
harassment
Adult near-arrest: Disturbing the Peace.
My upstairs neighbor is an idiot who corrals her and her sister's kids onto the balcony (that's six kids, mind you) during the summer because she's afraid they'll be kidnapped.
Last summer I politely asked her not once but three times to PLEASE let her kids play in the meadow that's at the center of our apartment complex. No dice.
So one hot day in August, I lost my temper at the cacophony coming from upstairs, stuck my face out my front door and roared "SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!" three times. I felt bad that the kids had to hear that, because they were just being kids, but when you're angry you just don't think of those things.
She called the cops. The cops came to my door. They told me they would arrest me if such a thing ever happened again.
So there's my "almost."
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